There are often discussions comparing mental abuse vs. physical abuse. Some people will say one is worse than the other. The reality is, there’s no way to compare. Both can have devastating effects on someone’s well-being and mental health. Being the victim of abuse can impact you for years or decades in the future and diminish your sense of self. However, there are ways to recover if you’ve experienced abuse, particularly by working with a trauma-informed therapist.
Below, we delve more into the conversation of mental abuse vs. physical abuse.. We also talk more about recovering from domestic abuse and forming healthy boundaries.
What is Abuse?
Abuse is a word thrown around frequently in casual conversations, but what does it mean? How can you know if you’re the victim of abuse or even behaving abusively toward another person?
Abuse, in the simplest terms, is any action that intentionally injures or harms another person.
There are many types of abuse, including:
- Physical abuse or physical violence
- Mental (psychological) abuse
- Verbal abuse
- Rape, sexual assault, or sexual violence
- Financial abuse or economic abuse
- Elder abuse
- Emotional abuse (sometimes used interchangeably with mental or psychological abuse)
Most often, abuse is committed by someone the victim knows. The victim in an abusive relationship frequently lives with the abuser, which is domestic abuse. When a partner abuses the other, it’s intimate partner abuse. Abuse within families can also be called domestic violence.
Nearly one-in-three women in the United States say they’ve experienced abuse. More than one-in-five adult men say they’ve experienced physical, psychological, or sexual abuse.
That means, based on these numbers, there are likely around 8.5 million domestic violence incidents that occur yearly.
These situations can affect people of any age. Regarding intimate partner violence, it happens among young people and older ones. For example, one-in-three teens say they’ve experienced violence in a dating relationship. Millions of child abuse reports are filed with Child Protective Services annually in America.
While the definition of abuse seems simple, it’s much more complex. Abuse is about control. One party wants to control the other through abusive behavior. That doesn’t make it an excuse. There’s no right for a person to use mental or physical abuse to control someone else.
One of the most important things a victim has to realize is that abuse is always wrong, and it’s never their fault. Everyone has the right to a life free from abuse.
What is Mental Abuse?
Mental abuse is also called emotional abuse or psychological abuse. When someone mentally abuses another person, they are deliberately hurting them or trying to cause them emotional pain, as well as exerting coercive control. Mental abuse can also include trying to manipulate someone through communication, whether verbal or non-verbal.
While one isn’t worse than the other, when comparing mental abuse vs. physical abuse, one thing to note is that mental abuse can be much harder to spot. Despite being harder to recognize, mental abuse can lead to the same impacts as physical abuse. Mental abuse also tends to lead up to physical abuse by abusive partners. The sooner it can be recognized and a victim can get help, the more likely they will get into a safe situation.
There are many subtypes of mental abuse, including:
- Intimidation
- Bullying
- Psychological aggression
- Harassment
- Ridicule
- Humiliation
- Controlling behaviors
- Gaslighting
- Isolating someone
- Verbal anger
Mental abuse inflicted by an intimate partner can include:
- Constantly keeping tabs on your whereabouts
- Expecting that you stay in constant contact
- Cutting you off from family and friends
- Discouraging you from working or going to school
- Jealousy
- Insults and name-calling
- Humiliating you in front of others
- Controlling how you spend money
- Yelling and swearing
Mental abuse inflicted on children can include a pattern of behavior with actions like:
- Constant criticism
- Blaming the child for problems
- Humiliating them
- Threatening to hurt or abandon them
- Neglect
The impacts of mental abuse can lead to:
- Feelings of powerlessness and helplessness
- Being fearful
- Guilt and shame
- Stress
- Feeling useless
- Lack of confidence
- Questioning your memory of events
- Changing your behavior to avoid upsetting the abusive person
What is Physical Abuse?
Physical abuse is defined by the American Psychological Association as deliberately violent or aggressive behavior by one person towards another, leading to injury. Physical abuse can include physical aggression like punching, biting, choking, shaking, burning, or beating.
Physical abuse most often occurs in relationships of trust, such as between a parent and a child, or romantic partners, like married people.
People who experience physical abuse often develop conditions as a result, including:
- Eating disorders
- Depression
- Anxiety disorders
- Posttraumatic stress disorder
- Substance use problems
Physical abuse tends to start gradually. For example, someone might start with a push, but it almost always worsens over time.
Long-Term Effects of Child Abuse
The impacts can be long-lasting when a child experiences mental or physical abuse, as is the case for adults. Children who are victims of abuse of any kind are more likely to have conditions like:
- Health problems. Abuse survivors are more likely to have physical health problems, including high blood pressure, cancer, heart and lung problems, and diabetes. Children who survive abuse and neglect may also have stunted brain development.
- Substance abuse: Children and victims of abuse of any age are more likely to turn to substances like drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism.
- Criminal acts: The National Institute of Justice reports that when children are abused or neglected, they’re more likely to go on to develop antisocial behaviors.
- Psychological and behavioral problems: If a child experiences abuse, they may be at a greater risk for developing depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, behavioral disorders, and eating disorders.
Standing Up Against Abuse
If you’re a victim of abuse in any way, mental or physical, get yourself in a safe situation as soon as you can. You should contact law enforcement if you feel your life is in danger. Once you’re in a safe place, you’ll begin to rebuild your life.
Working with a therapist or mental health professional is an important part of this. When you survive domestic abuse of any kind, a therapist can help you learn that it wasn’t your fault, and you can begin to develop healthy boundaries for future relationships of all kinds.
This means developing expectations for what you want in a healthy relationship in the future, whether this means romantic relationships, friendships, or family relationships.
When you work with a therapist, along with exploring your personal, physical, and emotional boundaries, you can also rebuild your sense of self and identity.
Counseling for Overcoming Abuse
While the actions and definitions may vary from one another, when comparing mental abuse vs. physical violence and abuse, there are more similarities than differences. Both are just as impactful and significant as one another.
The two often occur along with each other. For example, an abusive partner might begin to push emotional types of boundaries and inflict emotional abuse. Then, that could turn into violent behaviors.
If you’d like to talk to a therapist about your experiences and how you can heal, the Story Wellness team is here and available to talk, just call us at (866) 476-2823. We can work with you as you recover from an abusive relationship, whether it includes emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse, or something else.
